Empathy; a Vicarious Experience

The following comes from a paper I wrote for a developmental psychology class:


In a hospital nursery, it is a common scene to witness. All the babies may be calm and even sleeping when one may gradually begin to stir and build to a cry. Soon, many of the other newborns in the room have joined the chorus. Some say that this may be a first indicator of empathy; a sharing of emotion hard wired from birth in the minds of each and every one of us. (Myers, 1999, p. 478)

There has been a long and ongoing debate over empathy and the motivations that lie behind it. Some may refer to the empathy vs. distress argument or perhaps a discussion concerning altruism and egoism. Note that I will not concern myself here with these arguments, but rather focus on first, what empathy is, why empathy is important both for the individual and society, and most importantly, the development of empathy within the individual.

What is empathy? Empathy is not “an expression of sorrow for another’s loss, grief, or misfortune” though many would confuse it for such (Webster, 1999, p.525). Such an emotion would be sympathy. Empathy on the other hand is a much more intimate emotion. Webster defines empathy as “the experiencing, as ones own, the feelings of another (Webster, 1999, p.171).” Kaplan defines empathy as “an emotional response resulting from understanding another person’s state or condition (Kaplan, 1998, p. 256).”

As mentioned, two other terms often used within the discussion of empathy are altruism, an unselfish interest in the welfare of others, and distress, defined as suffering of body or mind (though anguish; extreme pain or distress of mind, may be a more correct term to use). (Webster, 1999, pp152, 20) Still, a host of other mental state descriptors may also be commonly used.

Common sayings conveying empathy are “walking in another’s shoes,” or to “see it through another’s eyes.” Though empathy is thought of as a direct result of personal experience, it is not necessarily limited to such. To have empathy it is not required that one has a perfect knowledge of what another is feeling. One should not be expected to have personally passed through the same experience which another is passing as a prerequisite for having empathy. Though most people in a society may typically react to a given situation in similar ways, each too will differ.
Empathy undoubtably does draw upon experience, but as important if not more so is the willingness and ability to both recognize and identify with the conditions and emotions through which another is passing. Equally, many cases require a certain ability to draw conclusions from the shared experience/emotion and a certain degree of intelligent imagination. It must be both recognized and remembered that one can gain experience not only by “first person” measures but also as a second person observer and perhaps beyond. It is wisely noted (and not outside the realms of empathy) that the intelligent man learns from his experiences while the wise man learns also from the experiences of others.

In summary, the empathetic person is one who is capable (because of both desire and ability) of experiencing another’s feelings as if they were one’s own. This empathy is something that should foster throughout a lifetime. Equally however, empathy can atrophy into the shadows of self and society when left shunned as a weakness, un-nurtured.

So why is it important that the individual develop empathy? A positive relationship exists between the ability to feel empathy and the inhibition of aggression. The ability to empathize is a strong predictor of just about all types of prosocial behavior, especially in males. The reason why empathy is somewhat more important for males than females is that social norms require women to show prosocial and nuturant behavior while men are under less pressure to do so. In many cases the pressure that men feel is to shun empathy. People who are focused on themselves are less likely to be helpful and generous than those who are concerned with the experiences and problems of others.

Empathy entices people to be more understanding, less critical, more patient, and less judgmental. More than anything, an empathetic person is happier and more at peace than he who lacks empathy. The empathetic man will also spread this peace and happiness within the society he lives. More than anything, an empathetic society is a more bearable society. Burdens are lightened, hearts are lifted, and joys are shared.

As indicated in the opening paragraph, babies cry more when they hear another infant cry. This is thought to point to a predisposition for empathy in each of us at birth (Myers, 1999, p. 478). However this empathy at birth is very raw in nature. It is as a seed awaiting a fertile spot to grow and the nurturing hand to care for it as it flourishes through the various stages of life.
In young children, what may typically be recognized as advanced forms of empathy, are all but impossible. It is believed that children must first experience the cognitive growth necessary to decrease their egocentrism to a point where they can take someone else’s viewpoint. Improvements in moral reasoning may then lead to the increased ability to experience empathy. (Kaplan, 1998, p. 256)

Current theories agree that a complex interaction of cognition and affect is required. This is the base for the ability to recognize and discern emotions, and to take another’s perspective. The matter is compounded when considering the necessity of sufficient abstract thought allowing one to feel with the other person or to respond similarly in an emotional way. (Beck, 2006 p. 409)
It is also believed that the frequent minor illnesses of early childhood contribute not only to physical growth (strengthening of the immune system) but also emotional growth. This growth comes in the ability to cope with physical distress enhancing competence and their understanding of their changing physical states. It is believed that repeated bouts with minor illness help children to pay more attention to what their body is communicating to them and they realize that the current feelings of aches, pains, weakness, even “the blues,” are temporary and that they will soon pass. Coincidingly, children begin to notice those around them going through similar experiences; continuing their life lessons in empathy. (Papalia & Olds, 1998, p.190)From birth, society’s norms quickly begin to influence the development of empathy. This especially seems true when comparing the differences typically find between genders regarding empathy. In surveys, Women are not only far more likely to describe themselves as having empathy but given upsetting experiences in the laboratory, women are more likely than men to gain empathy for others enduring similar experiences and to report feeling distressed at another’s distress. Myers explains that this may help to explain why both men and women report friendships with women to be more intimate, enjoyable, and nurturing. When they want empathy and understanding, someone to whom they can disclose their joys and hurts, both men and women usually turn to women. (This is attributed to women being influenced to be in touch with their emotions while men are typically influenced to detach themselves from their emotions. Through various studies, women have been shown more capable of both discerning emotions in other people (due to their sensitivity to non-verbal cues), and expressing or conveying emotions (with the slight exception of anger).) (Meyers, 1998, pp. 185-186)